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It is society, the media, and the idea of “traditional roles” that put men on one side and women on the other. I am a lesbian, and being attracted to the more “masculine” end of the spectrum does not change that.
You might be wondering how a femme lesbian gets noticed and lets other lesbians—butches, femmes, and those in between—know that she is also a lesbian.
Though I wouldn’t say my girlfriend “looks like a man,” she has short hair, wears flannel, and definitely has a rough and tumble way about her that makes it pretty hard to imagine her in a dress.
The moment someone asks why I don’t just date men, they are telling me that they have no understanding or appreciation of what it means to be a woman.
This might limit your social scene, but it's the most fail-proof.
If you're a conversation with an obvious lesbian, casually mention an ex-girlfriend.“If you’re dating a woman who looks like a man, then why don’t you just date men? Granted, most of the time we get this question it is just some jerk trying to get under our skin, but as unbelievable as it may sound, there are still some people who look us in the eye and ask because they truly wonder.