Dating games people play movie
The thing is, dating isn’t inherently a game any more than the act of putting one foot in front of the other is; viewing dating as a competitive, adversarial pursuit that requires cunning, strategy and deception is not a function of dating itself. It’s not inevitable, not fundamental to the pursuit of courtship, it’s not even as common as you think. There’s the competitive sport in which players compete with each other to see who can score the most. ’ justification version, perpetuated by Pick Up Culture, Sex and the City, and Cosmopolitan magazine…
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Or, because players choose to play, and losing is just proof of weakness. ’ We can say, nonchalant and smug, when we’ve hurt someone who trusted us and cared for us: ‘I was playing by the rules! and telling readers that they will lose unless they follow this patented system for playing the game is an excellent sales tactic; framing courtship as a game with rules that everyone knows but you is a great way to scare anyone into a sale. When someone decides it’s OK to cheat because it’s less than a year in, or lies and manipulates, or uses and pretends, and the other is heartbroken… People who wanted to love and be loved, who opened their hearts and lives and legs.So I’m just doing the smart thing: I’m just playing defense. There are rules of what’s allowed, and they do not match up with the morals of society at large: you aren’t allowed to punch someone in the face to get what you want in the real world, but that’s fine in boxing, encouraged even.If they complain about it, it’s only because they’re used to winning, or they just hate losing. Similarly, when dating is perceived as a ‘game’, it is perfectly acceptable to lie about your intentions with someone, what type of relationship you might desire with them, or what you really think of them in order to score…Here’s the rules: I would meet a guy, and start dating, and try not to sleep with him until or unless I was reasonably sure he actually wanted some version of an honest relationship with me…
and not just casual sex, which I wasn’t interested in at that time, because I knew that as soon as I slept with a guy, my feelings for him would become very serious.Viewing romance, dating, even casual sex as a game is a way of taking something that could be co-operative and uplifting, and turning it into a battlefield in which some win… It’s when guys are focused on choosing words they think will subconsciously suggest that their date give them a blowjob, when they could instead just focus on, well, connecting with them, a human predisposed to spontaneously engaging in acts of enthusiastic sexuality of their own volition!